Ten Things You Shouldn't do When Thievin or Spyin
by Frostaga
Summary: This is a basic dummies guide written by Kurama. If you wish to read go ahead and do so.Major OOCness
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer- I do not own any Yu Yu Hakusho characters used in this fic.

Kurama- Hi everyone! Thank you for reading my book 'Ten Things You Shouldn't do When Thieving or Spying'! Youko, Hiei, Yusuke and Kuwabara have agreed to let me use them as examples… Please enjoy!

Youko- You had better not have made Hiei and me look like idiots!

Kurama- I didn't… Anyway, first things first, don't yell when spying on an enemy or friends. Or just when you trying to steal things…(ya don't want to attract attention)

Ex: Youko is hiding behind some bushes while spying on a private conversation between Yusuke and Kuwabara. He is being sure not to attract any attention to himself. He sits there patiently and listens in.

"Yusuke…I have something to tell you" Kuwabara says slowly "I want to break up with you" Yusuke looks at him sadly.

"Why?" He asks tears streaking his cheeks.

"Because… I think that I may actually have a chance with Hiei!"

"WHAT?!" Yusuke and Kuwabara both turn to face Youko "Oops…"

Kurama- Number two; Make sure no one is watching you…

Ex: Youko is standing in a store with lots of people; he's standing in a section of the store that sells knives, swords and daggers. He picks up one of the daggers, slips it into his toga, and then he starts walking towards the entrance with many people looking at him oddly.

"Are you going to pay for that?" A worker with a red suit on asked, his nametag read: Marco.

"Pay for what?" Youko looked at him oddly.

"The dagger you placed in your toga"

"What dagger?"

"This dagger" The worker named Marco pulled the dagger out of his toga. " Now are you going to pay for it? Or are you going to leave?"

"I think I'll just leave…"

Kurama: Number three; never laugh evilly when you grab some loot.

Ex: Youko is sneaking around in a bandit camp and comes across a room with a big chest. He carefully walks around all the sleeping bandits in the room; he picks the lock on the chest and opens it.

"Muahahaha! This is exactly what I came for!" He hears the sound of many people drawing their swords and turns around nervously. He gulps at the sight of all the bandits standing up.

"Where do you think 'ur goin' Fox boy?" One of the bandits asked patting his hand with the flat side of the blade.

"Out the door and far away!"

Kurama- Number four; don't bring your loud mouth friend.

Ex: Hiei, Youko and Yusuke are hiding away; spying on a very rich person in a high security building. Guards are walking in every hallway and are waiting at every corner; cameras are everywhere and scanners cover the floor, so that only people with a special chip in them can pass it. They decided to play it safe and go through the vents- like usual it turned out to be the only unguarded area. They sit quietly; in the vents and look down upon their victim.

"Hey thanks for bringing me along!" Kuwabara said excitedly "I really appreciate it!"

"Shut up!" Hiei hissed quietly "Your going to catch his attention!"

"No I won't!" Kuwabara exclaimed, "I'm the master of spying! No one's ever caught me!" The owner of the building listened quietly and alerted his guards. Before the group knew what was happening; Hiei and Youko had fled the scene and Yusuke and Kuwabara were caught and forced to watch barney and care bears for the rest of their lives.

Kurama- Number five; don't leave evidence.

Ex: Youko just stole a very valuable piece of jewelry, as he's leaving the scene of the crime he realized he forgot to do something and turned back. He enters the room again and walks over to where he had taken the valuable item.

"I forgot to leave a strand of hair!" He plucks out a piece of his silver hair and puts it on the small table, he then rips off a piece of cloth from his shirt and attaches it to the sharp corner. "There we go!" He then turned and left"

Kurama: Number six; don't forget to bring your equipment.

Ex: Youko is on the roof of a glass building that doesn't have stairs leading down to the other floors. He cuts a hole in the glass and searches for the bungee cord that he needs to get to the ground. He sighs; realizing that the only way down is to jump. He places his feet in the hole and braces himself for the fall. He jumps and ends up breaking both his legs.

"Crap…Just what I needed…" He attempts to pull himself around the place using only his hands and later on, gets caught by one of the guards.

Kurama- Number seven; don't fight unless you have to.

Ex: Youko and Hiei are carefully and quietly slipping through the halls of a museum. Hiei easily slips past a sleeping guard and tells Youko to follow, but instead Youko stays where he is and brings out his rose whip. He then attacks and kills the guard causing the alarms to sound. Hiei glares at him angrily.

"What'd you do that for?" He asked, running through the halls.

"Sorry…His snoring was bugging me!" Youko replied following behind Hiei.

"Well, next time I try to steal something, remind me not to bring you!"

"Ok got it!" Youko paused to think "What is that supposed to mean?!"

Kurama- Number eight; don't give your business card, student or any type of identification to one of the guards. Sorry everyone, but this one is for Kuwabara…He's just so stupid, he'd probably do it!

Ex: Kuwabara is walking through the halls of a mall after hours with Youko, Hiei and Yusuke. He follows the others into a store and steals a couple of things for himself, as he's walking towards the entrance He spots one of the guards and goes over to talk to him.

"Hi!" Kuwabara looked at him, a stupid smile on his face.

"What are you doing in here?!" The guard asked "And what are you doing with those?!"

"Oh…Me and my buddies decided we'd break into the mall and steal a few things…I hope you don't mind!" Kuwabara placed his hand in his pocket "Here's my ID. Maybe you'll drop by my school sometime!"

"Sorry Mr. Kuwabara, but I'm going to have to place you under arrest, can you hold out your hands?" The guard asked as he unclipped his handcuffs.

"Sure!"

Kurama- Number nine; do not I repeat do not walk towards an enemy that is holding a weapon saying shiny.

Ex: Youko has just been caught stealing by Hiei. Hiei is now holding his katana ready to attack. Youko is staring at him like he's in a trance then starts slowly moving towards him.

"Shiny" Youko said as he continued forward "Shiny" Hiei waited patiently for the attack, but it never came, he sighed and put his katana back in it's sheath. "No! Give me the shiny! Don't put it in that stupid thing!" Youko starts running towards Hiei ready to attack. Hiei draws his katana again. "Shiny…"

"You want the shiny?" Hiei asks waving his sword back and forth.

"Yes…Give me!" Youko replied, turning his head in the same direction as the sword.

"Well then…You can have it…"

"Really?" Youko asks, eyes wide.

"Yeah… But only after it goes through your gut!"

Kurama- And last but not least, number ten; don't get caught

Ex: Hiei and Youko are walking around in a high security place; they easily slip past all the guards and avoid any cameras. Soon they reach the room they're looking for; it's full of sleeping guards. Hiei keeps watch as Youko picks the lock, soon Youko has it open and grabs what they came for, they then leave and make it out safely.

"We did it!" Youko stated, realizing that for once they hadn't gotten caught.

"Yep…And only because you didn't laugh evilly or attack the guards when not needed, oh and you weren't attracted to shiny objects and we didn't bring Yusuke or Kuwabara!"

"Hahaha! We are so much better than them!"

"It took you this long to figure that out?!"

Kurama- Well that's all for now! Thank you for taking the time to read my book 'Ten Things You Shouldn't do When Thieving or Spying'! Please review, I'm really looking forward to what you all think! Oh and just one last pointer, never bring Kuwabara along… It seems like a stupid idea to bring that ugly kitten-loving fag along… He is ugly enough to torment the poor kittens with his face! C'mon you have to feel sorry for the kittens! Ok I think I'll stop talking about that…Please review…The poor kittens need your help!


	2. Notice

Hey Frost here!I just wanted to let you all know that thanks to your reviews we have managed to save a few of the kittens. We still need help to save them all from Kuwabara's face. All you have to do is keep up the reviews and they'll be fine!

By the way...I'm not writting this because I want you to review, I'm writting this little notice so that everyone knows about the poor tormented kittnes. Please keep up the good work and help save the kittens!

Frostaga...


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